Cstan98 Zen Stories - Jokes Minions

Version2 2018.10.19

Jokes Minions Zen Stories.

Funny Minions Zen Stories to make You laugh.

**Top 40 Minions Jokes.

**Website: quotesnhumor.com

Below are my own Cstan98 study notes. Not mean to replace actual course.

  1. Inks Blots.

    Comedian. Minion: "read below texts inks blots."

    hdgklqwkqlwfjweqfewhlf = hog cut into half.

    (*just trying to make sense of rubbish.)

  2. Brain Wrong.

    Comedian. Minion: "there is something wrong with my brain. The left side is not right. The right side nothing left."

    (*Panda is both left/right-handed. Can pour 2 coke zero into ice at same time.)

  3. Turn To Asshole.

    Comedian. Minion: "some people suck the niceness from you."

    (*in another words. Turn You into an asshole with assholeness.)

  4. Don't Piss Me.

    Comedian. Ninja Minion with samurai sword: "don't piss me. I am finding it hard to find places to hide bodies."

    (*Ninja Panda: "piss me. Piss me. So that I can piss You back more.")

  5. Shit On.

    Comedian. Minion: "if I am a bird. I now who to shit on."

    (*you people are lucky Panda is not god. Or else a lots of people are into lightnings targets practices.)

  6. Life Getting Complicated.

    Comedian. Minion: "life is getting complicated. I want to turn 5 years old again."

    (*Panda: "life is getting complicated. I want to turn 100000 years old god again.")

  7. Day/Night.

    Comedian. Minion to Teacher: "night. I cannot sleep. Day. I cannot wake."

    (*25/08/2018. Now Panda day/night. Chest is burning with hell fires. Because of administering GUAN YIN 功德费.)

  8. Excited Text.

    Comedian. Minion: "you text him. He doesn't reply. Obviously He faints."

    (*Panda: "if me does not hear from you. For 5 days. Obviously you die of heart attack.")

  9. Google Clinical Dead.

    Comedian. Minion: "don't google research. In 3 clicks. From mild headaches to clinical dead."

    (*Panda: "for Panda. Can go forward. Of course can go backward. Every illness can be reversed. Like diabetes/fat/HIV/mental disorders/...")

  10. Live My Life.

    Comedian. Minion: "I want to live my life without stress. So don't want to be rich. Just happy."

    (*Panda: "You can make life more challenging. With more stress. Earn to be very rich. Donate everythings to Church Operations. Repeat to be very rich. Repeat to donate everythings...")

  11. Warnings.

    Comedian. Minion: "my iPhone low battery is only warning I take seriously."

    (*Panda: "me takes all warnings seriously. Like you are an asshole. Going to shits now. That kid seems want to give me a 10 dan kick...")

  12. Women Don't Work Hard.

    Comedian. Minion: "Women don't work as hard. Because We get it right the first time."

    (*Panda: "without Panda make-a-fool-of-himself many mistakes. You People can arrive at Solutions so fast?")

  13. Pizza Confused.

    Comedian. Minion: "I am confused. Square box. Circle pizza. Triangle slices."

    (*Panda: "wait till you study this planet earth money system. This country A one cent is not equal to that country B one cent. Because in that country A one cent 03.10.2018 & one cent 05.09.2018 are different. And in that country B one cent 02.10.2018 & one cent 09.09.2018 are different.")

  14. Walk In. Walk Out

    Comedian. Minion: "(walk into room) Forget why there. (Walk out of room.) Remember."

    (*Panda: "must do that. Must do that. *fall asleep. *wake up. There seem to be many things to do. *after 1 hour. Remember." There are many sleep demons on planet earth. Who die die must make/see Jedi go to sleep. Stupid idiots.)

  15. So Much To Do.

    Comedian. Minion: "so much to do. But no desire to do."

    (*speak little. Do more. When nothing to do. Think more what to do. Nothing to think. Start talking to think. Repeat.)

  16. Drunk Fairy Tale.

    Comedian. Minion: "life not fairy tale. If you lose a shoe at midnight. Because you are drunk."

    (*me Cstan98 has daily drunk nightmares with IMH - singapore mental hospital. Under their Laws Acts. The me needs to be compulsory drunk everyday.)

  17. Every Night Battles.

    Comedian. Minion: "every night. It is endless battles. Between internet/sleep."

    (*everyday. It is endless battles. Between satan the devil. Don't/to sleep.)

  18. Worry Personalities.

    Comedian. Minion: "I am worry. I have not heard from my other personalities for awhile."

    (*Panda has many voices Friends to talk to. Many voices demons to negotiate to.)

  19. Crazy Me.

    Comedian. Minion: "Sometime I think there is a crazy man in the house. Turn out to be me."

    (*satan the devil like to fight one M16 shot. And let whole Angelic Armed Forces fight inside each other. Everyone calm down. It is just one satan the devil. Let's not fight against Ourselves.)

  20. Minion - F Words.

    Comedian. Minion: "food is my first favourite f word. Second is friday."

    (*without food cannot f. Without f why food? So f/food are both my Cstan98 favourite words. For word friday. Everyday is friday for me.)

  21. I Am Weird.

    Comedian. Minion: "I am WEIRD = Wonderful + Exciting + Interesting + Real + Different."

    (*Panda is WEIRD also = Weirdo + Enigma + Idiot + Rage + inDifferent.)

  22. Heart Of Gold.

    Comedian. Minion: "Yes. I am stubborn. Strong willed. Asshole. But I have a heart of gold"

    (*Panda is 50% asshole + 50% nice. Which part for you? Depend whether you are asshole or nice.)

  23. Balance Diet.

    Comedian. Minion: "a balance diet is 2 chocolate bars at both hands."

    (*Panda always has a balance diet = maintain balance calm not to eat any animal.)

  24. Fun Bad Influence.

    Comedian. Minion: "I may be bad influence. But I'm fun."

    (*Panda: "me may be asshole. But me is nice also.")

  25. Screaming Calories.

    Comedian. Minion: "exercising is more fun. If calories scream when you burn them."

    (*Panda cannot stand burning demons in Hell. Always request to release them after some times. Is just my Boss JESUS CHRIST. And His Boss GOD takes out my sincerity password to able to release them. Don't look at me. Panda is just an Archangel bureaucrat.)

  26. Close Eye.

    Comedian. Minion: "sometimes I close my eyes. I cannot see."

    (*if I cannot see. Then I cannot see whether you see me or not.)

  27. Female Iron Man.

    Comedian. Minion: "Female = FE + MALE = Iron + Man. Therefore. Female = Ironman."

    (*Panda = PANting out of breath + and still DA da da.)

  28. Expert Advices.

    Comedian. Minion: "of course I talk to myself. I always need expert advices."

    (*Panda has many invisible Friends to talk to.)

  29. Mini Heart Attacks.

    Comedian. Minion: "those mini heart attacks. When you miss a step."

    (*don't get too fat like Panda. The me always afraid die of fat heart attack while sleeping.)

  30. Jump Lava.

    Comedian. Minion: "if you never jump from couch to couch. To escape lava. You do not have a childhood."

    (*me Cstan98 drowns ants with johnson & johnson powder. Sorry ants. Very sorry.)

  31. Homework Face.

    Comedian. Minion: "the face you make. When you know you have homework."

    (*Panda now does not have homeworks. But have daily to-do tasks jobs. What the difference? You cannot outgrow homeworks.)

  32. Cut Into Half.

    Comedian. Minion: "I really want to cut you into half. Is just that I cannot stand 2 of you."

    (*actually me Cstan98 does not want you dead. Is just that pigs are better as pork chops.)

  33. Come Tell Me Bad Things.

    Comedian. Minion: "if you want to tell bad things behind my back. Come to me. I tell you more."

    (*a Jedi needs to do what a Jedi needs to do. Confirm some say bad/good things about You. If You care too much. How to functions?)

  34. Control Who Throw Out Of Window.

    Comedian. Minion: "you cannot control who walk into your life. But you can control who you throw out of window."

    (*You cannot control what You need to do. But you can control what You can do.)

  35. Scary True Story.

    Comedian. Minion: "when a scary movie based on a true story."

    (*why Panda live tv is so interesting. Because it is based on a true madman scientist disruptor true story.)

  36. No Obligation To Make Sense.

    Comedian. Minion: "I am under obligation to make sense to you."

    (*Panda is under no obligation not to call you an asshole.)

  37. Whoever Reading.

    Comedian. Minion: "whoever is reading this. Is nice & beautiful. And I love You."

    (*whoever reading this. Have nothing better to do.)

  38. Limited Edition.

    Comedian. Minion: "I'm not special. I am limited edition."

    (*Panda is not special. Just a smarter stupid idiot than you this stupid idiot. Don't worry. If you study harder. You can become smarter like me Panda who is also a stupid idiot. And become still a stupid idiot. In another word. We are all stupid idiots living in a stupid idiots world. Do you get it, stupid idiot? Don't worry. The me is not trying to call you stupid idiot. Just trying to tell a Zen Story with the most 'stupid idiot' phrases. Do you get it, stupid idiot?)

  39. Prince Charming Stuck In Tree.

    Comedian. Minion: "stop waiting for prince charming. He may be stuck in a tree. Go look for Him."

    (*Panda thinks both should meet half-way.)

  40. Santa Lap.

    Comedian. Minion: "I am not santa. But you can sit on my lap."

    (*I am not god. I am not satan the devil also. But if you want to play with me. Let's play. Angel for Angel. Assholes for asshole.)

  41. Sleeping Disorder.

    Comedian. Minion: "I want to sleep. Then my counting disorder comes in. One sheep. Two dogs. Three cats. Four goats..."

    (*Panda has been telling my mental doctor. GOD has been giving me such a huge reading loads - list. Don't make me sleep 18 hours a day like their pig gods. GOD answers my Prayers. The he dr joseph leong has been strike by lightning twice. Most pigs become BBQ pig by the third time. Finally. Soon can finish my Reading List.)

  42. Who Else?

    Comedian. Minion: "who else hate their own voice in their videos?"

    (*a Song: "I am so half-handsome in my shirt. I am so half-handsome in my trouser. I am so half-handsome in my taxi car....")

  43. Stupidity Has Taken Over The World.

    Comedian. Minion: "breaking news. Common sense is no more. Stupidity has taken over the world. And there is no cure."

    (*there is actually a cure for stupidity = study harder than that smart asshole. Problem is GOD. The smartest Being don't sleep. So how can You be smarter than a Being who don't sleep? And if study harder. He studies even harder.")

  44. Don't Do.

    Comedian. Minion to Teacher: "do You punish me. For something I don't do. I don't do my homework."

    (*actually me Cstan98 does not want to c/f you. But you have such shits face. Everyone wants to c/f you.)

  45. Google.

    Comedian. Minion: "you think me is Google? Know everythings."

    (*Google is very smart. Turning Everyone internet assets into Her company assets.)

  46. Guess Words.

    (01) Comedian. Minion: "guess below words:"

    (02) S*x F**k.

    (03) Should be six fork. What are you thinking? You dirty old-man/woman.

    (*read my Panda language: *** ** *** ***** = you go eat shits.)

  47. Last Year Pizza.

    Comedian. Minion: "I like to order pizza 5 minutes before year end. So that I can eat last year pizza."

    (*you should eat/shit same time. Right? So you need not later.)

  48. Make Stupid Idiot.

    Comedian. Minion: "read below fast:"

    I How Smart.

    I To Smart.

    I Make Smart.

    I Stupid Smart.

    I Idiot Smart.

    I Read Smart.

    I This Smart.

    Minion: "now go up read each second word down."

    (*you are too smart. Not that very stupid. Now read 1st, 2nd, 7th, 8th words of this sentence.)

  49. Mirror.

    Comedian. Minion: "you say I look like fat ugly pig? Do you think I am your mirror?"

    (*you look at me Cstan98? What you see?)

  50. Normal Insulted.

    Comedian. Minion: "someone calls me normal. I never get so insulted before."

    (*what wrong being normal? The me Cstan98 has been trying to tell my mental doctors me is that. All these years.)

**Cstan98 Core Zen Stories Topics:

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Animals

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Army Generals

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Army Soldiers

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Army Wars

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Buddha 佛故事

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Business Cases

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Business Products

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - China History Qin

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - China History Zhou

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Chinese Master Hui Neng 六祖慧能故事

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Chinese Masters

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Chinese Proverbs 华语成语俗语谚语

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Christian Angels

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Christian Boring Sermons

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Christian GOD

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Christian Heaven

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Christian HOLY SPIRIT

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Christian Missionary

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Christian Prayers

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Christian Revivals

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Country Female Agents

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Emperors

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Family Couples

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Family Kids

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Family Parents

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Ghosts

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Great Men

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - GUAN YIN

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Heaven Tao 一贯道故事

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Homeless

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Japanese Master Yi Xiu 一休禅师故事

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Japanese Masters

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Japanese Ninja

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Japanese Samurai

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Jokes

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Jokes Minions

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Jokes Pun Me

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Judges

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Medicine

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Mindfulness

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - My Life

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - No Adultery

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Professors

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Sex

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Singapore

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Students

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Taoist Master Chuang Zi 庄子故事

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Taoist Master Lao Zi 老子故事

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Trillionaires

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories - Wisdom

Go To Cstan98 Zen Stories Section

Go To cstan98.com.sg Homepage

**Cstan98 Official Topics:

(For informations.)

Serious Cultivators To Memorize

Official Accountings

Official Amazon Kindle Ebooks

Official Certifications

Official Photos

Privacy Policy

Spending Plans

Standard Email Replies

Terms Of Service