Zen Stories about Couples.
Hong Kong. A millionaire: "one day. A mosquito flies into my eye. Next thing. I pay $5000 to remove it." Another millionaire: "everyday. 1 dress flies into my Wife into Her eyes. I lose $5000 each."
(*trillionaire panda: "no matter $0.01/$1trillion deposit into my OCBC. They don't know fly where?")
United States. Husband to Wife: "how You lose anger with me so fast?" Answer: "I clean toilet whole afternoon. With Your toothbrush."
(*each day. The my toothbrush always taste a bit different.)
Japanese Anime. YouTube: 'EyzCad - Anime *Hardest Version*'. There are many cases of fall. With male touching females breasts.
(*when cannot touch. Then touch. More orgamic.)
Japanese Anime. Luan Ma (乱马). He is male. Touch cold/hot water turns female/male. When He is female. Is very beautiful. In fact. More beautiful than average female. So playboy kiss him. He finds it so disgusting. Start to cry. His first Fiancee: "so low dan. First kiss. Also don't know how to protect. Everyone (female) makes careless mistake."
(*when protecting first kiss. More fun.)
Japanese Anime. YouTube: 'EyzCad - Anime *Hardest Version*'. Male finds loose thread in Female clothing: "let me pull/rid for You." All outer clothings come off. Except bra/underwear. Female cries: "now I cannot marry off. Because seen naked." Male apologises: "sorry. I (love to) take care of You."
(*when seen naked. Must marry off. More fun.)
Japanese Anime. (IQ博士). Daughter Robot wants a mother. So ask female class Teacher: "can be my mum?" Female Teacher: "I try to talk to your dad." So Female Teacher goes visit. At kitchen. Dad Scientist is preparing tea for Female Teacher visitor: "(how to ask this kind of beautiful teacher to marry me). (Walk pass toilet. To Himself.) Teacher. Can marry me?" Teacher come out of toilet: "ok." Dad Scientist to himself: "(what? So easy.)"
(*quickly get married is more fun. Or you want to watch 300 episodes of how they get married?)
Japanese Anime. YouTube: 'EyzCad - Anime *Hardest Version*'. Dark Female sees Male thing: "I keep you always by my side." Male: "ok. You always call me Big Dark Overlord. Right?" Dark Female: "no. I call you tiny little thing (pet)." Male: "stupid idiot. (In front of everyone.)"
(*if you want to join dark side. Just show your thing.)
United States. Funeral first row. Pastor: "sorry. I am late. Sorry for Auntie Mary." Daughter: "it is Auntie Susan." Then Pastor & Daughter starts talking that She has been looking after sick Mother for 20 years. Finally get married. When ask Pastor how He meets His good Wife. Reply: "I think it is arranged by Her Mother Susan. In Heaven."
(*most People before marriage = don't know how to. After Marriage = everythings are fated.)
Chinese Classic. Good Beggar after begging rounds. Always give good foods to unable to beg Old Beggars. One night 2am. He is near richman house. Voice asks to catch hold of bag. Then Beautiful Female jumps down from wall. Grap His hand. Keep running for km. Spend whole night hugging. (Good Beggar is too dizzy sleepy. Thought dreaming.) When morning. Beautiful Female discovers it is a Beggar. Suppose to elope with lover who never show up. Ancient Time. Have Strict Rules. Once touch. Must marry. So no choice. Marry Good Beggar. Bag turns out to be copper metal treasures. Good Beggar: "these are treasures? I see so many lying on grounds. In deserted area." They become rich overnight. But Good Beggar still takes care of all Beggars.
(*Ancient Times. Once Touch. Must marry Rule. More fun interesting.)
Romance Of 3 Kingdoms. It is said that after Queen of a Cao Cao Prince dies. The Prince keeps crying at Her grave. Soon also dies.
(*me Cstan98 suspects this Prince is Liu Bei swapped Crown Prince into cao cao house.)
China. Husband gets a Job. He keeps telling how solid is His CEO. Say CEO last time unable to marry Girlfriend. Because not successful enough. Remain single until now. When Wife meets. She is that CEO that Girlfriend.
(*are You able to spot a Penny Stock with Panda growth potentials.)
United States. Someone asks secret of 80 years old Couple. Why They still call Each Other darling everytime? Answer: "We forget each other names many years back."
(*why are you reading this? Darling.)
United States. Pointing to a male who is kissing a sexy wife. Wife: "why don't you kiss me like that?" Husband: "if she is you. I keep kissing her also."
United States. Wife pointing to Couple: "they are such a loving couple." Husband: "his wife may be saying same thing to her husband now about us."
(*every couple has problems and solutions.)
United States. Every males are waiting to get that perfect Female. Just feel own body too inferior for Her. Don't dare make a move. Then come a new average Male to Her: "You are off 0.1 inch there. And 0.1 inch there also." Female: "You are right." Soon start dating. And then get married. Every Males: "so easy."
(*there are no correct moves. Only dare to moves.)
United States. Old Man is seen hugging a cemetery tombstone. Crying every badly: "why you leave so early." Pastor asks: "Your Wife?" Answer: "no. My Wife first husband."
(*if your Wife previous Husband dies. You are next.)
United States. Husband tells Air Stewardess: "can remind my Wife to take heart medicine? She is at Business Class. Seat B-2." Wife to Air Stewardess: "how You know I have heart condition? I am transporting my dead Husband body back now."
(*There is no such thing called. Husband/Wife seperated by death.)
United States. Wife receives flowers from Husband weekly. When He dies. Still receive every week. Check Florist. It is permanently arranged by dying Husband.
(*Panda Heaven Contract. When dead. If You wait for Her/Him. She/He waits for You.)
United States. Everyday. SMS from Wife in dead Husband iPhone: "I know You are gone. But I still miss You."
(*Panda Marriage Vow: "Marriage is Forever & Ever. Even after reincarnated life times.")
Senior Pastor Joseph Prince Sermon. Eve suspect Adam is having another Wife. So GOD JEHOVAH PROGRAM finds Eve counting Adam rib every night.
(*Wife is jealous. Because She loves You very much.)
Senior Pastor Joseph Prince Sermon. We are unable to understand Our Wives. Because They are made during Our sleep.
(*don't expect to understand Your Wife well.)
Senior Pastor Joseph Prince Sermon. Eve tells every animals: "I am my Husband Adam neck. I turn Him around."
(*the first 2000 years is GOD JEHOVAH PROGRAM Rule. The next 2000 years is JESUS CHRIST Rule. My Understanding the last 2000 years is HOLY SPIRIT Rule.)
Senior Pastor Joseph Prince Sermon. Eve keeps asking Adam does He loves Her. Everytime the reply is "who else?"
(*do We have a choice for not loving Our Wife. When We respect GOD JEHOVAH PROGRAM monogamy marriage rule.)
United States. Wife to Husband: "last night. I dream you buy a diamond necklace for me." That evening. Buy Her Book Gift: 'How To Interpret Dreams'.
(*learn to interpret dreams.)
United States. It is said. Laughing at yourself. Lengthen your life. Laugh at your Wife. Shorten it.
(*never make fun of your Wife. Because she may be with kitchen knife. While you sleep at night.)
United States. Husband brings a old lady back. After few days. Husband: "I think We have to find another house for her." Wife: "I thought is your mother." Husband: "I thought is your mother."
(*don't assume things.)
United States. 8 Years Old Kid picks up another 8 Years Old Female photo. He likes Her so much. Have been keeping photo for 30 years. When His Wife sees: "where You get that? I lost that photo 30 years ago."
(*We marry People who We dream to marry.)
(01) United States. 8 years old Son asks Father: "how to select Wife?" Father asks Son to walk from start to end of corn field. He is to pick biggest Corn Plant. One Rule is that He can only pick One. And once that big one passed. Cannot turn back. As predicted. He comes back with average size One. Father: "most people walks to end of corn field with average Wife."
(02) United States. 28 Years Old Male: "GOD JEHOVAH PROGRAM promises 7 storeys Shopping Mall. To shop get Wife. One Rule once passed 7 Floors. You cannot come back to select anymore. So You go into 1st Floor = Females are nice. Second Floor = even nicer. Get better & better from 3rd Floor to 6th Floor. So every male very eager to go 7th floor. To discover nothing there. It is still under construction."
(*to select Husband/Wife don't get greedy for the best one. You are supposed to improve that better One to Best One. *Singapore. It is recommended You get a Boyfriend/Girlfriend at age 0 years old. Because your iPhone starts to expire after 28 years warranty. Then you start to become very desperate to sell your iPhone as Samsung. If still unable. Then as Nokia. You guess how desperate are me Cstan98 & my Wife Choy at 41-42 years old. You can always marry at Age 500. But get a Boyfriend/Girlfriend before 28 years old.)
Christian. Every morning. Husband/Wife are quarrelling who brew coffee. So go see Pastor. Pastor: "Holy Bible says Wife submit to Husband. But there is a He-Brews Chapter."
(*for info. There are only 1/2 Kings in Holy Bible. No Queens. So Mrs Panda still brews coffee for Panda. Until there is Exodus of Panda out of house. Egypt house is 100% owed by Mrs Panda. If long wars. There may be no Revelation of her breasts - no sex for 3 weeks. So You prefer Lamentations - crying repentance. Or just He-Brews.)
United States. Male to Pastor: "my Wife is getting historical." Pastor: "you mean hysterical." Male: "no. Historical. She reminds me of every little mistake. I done since We marry 10 years ago."
(*don't play play. Females have very solid memory.)
Comedian. Wife is missing with car. Police: "can you describe your Wife." Husband: "never notice eyes colour/dress size/..." Police: "can you describe your car?" Husband: "it is BMW Z8. With 400 HP Engine. 2 doors. Production year at 2000."
(*please know Your Wife better than your taxi.)
Comedian. Man always comes back from work. Envy His beautiful Wife so relax at home. One night asks GOD JEHOVAH PROGRAM to switch role for one day. So next day. Man wakes up as Wife. Morning prepare breakfast. Send Children to school. Do marketing. Afternoon do laundry & iron clothes. Clean the house. Then pick up Children from school. Evening. Prepare dinner then wash the dishes. Whole day non-stop without a rest. Finally bath and have marriage sex. That night Man prays to GOD JEHOVAH PROGRAM: "I don't want to be my Wife anymore. It is more taxing than my office job." Voice: "sorry my Son. You need to stick to it for another 9 months. You are pregnant."
(*Wife needs to do children bearing.)
(00) Someone: Wife is TV. Girlfriend is iPhone.
(01) TV is boring. iPhone can play games.
(02) TV is squarely. iPhone has all the curves.
(03) TV puts at home. iPhone carry everywhere.
(04) You cannot talk with TV. You talk with iPhone.
(*Panda uses iPhone to watch YouTube. Why cannot combine 2 into 1?)