Christian Zen Stories about Heaven.
Angels. If You are Eve (Female). And find all adams (males) are stupid idiots. You are more or less right. My Cstan98 Understanding: Eves are later Versions (creations). Adams are earlier Versions (creations). The ZEN SPIRIT in me Cstan98 seems to let me recall. The me is an ancient god who creates the female aspect. The me finds male aspect alone too boring. The female aspect is created to make things more interesting. Once female aspect is created. Sex aspect is formed. Cute-cute Little Children aspect is formed. But because of all these new aspects are created in less than 1 Creation. All Hell break loose. Many Angels start to fall. There are too many sins. Death aspect is created also. And as that god who creates the female aspect. The me punishes myself to serve as 12 Creation prison term on planet earth. It has been almost 12 Creations since me prisoned myself as fixed term on planet earth. Another 10800x4-19 years later. Is going to be new Creation period. By now 2019 (year). The me discovers to solve the sex sins problems. Solution is 1 Male to 1 Female monogamy marriage. Cannot more than 1 wives. The male aspect is not created for more than 1 female wife marriage sex. Believe me. The me has already soon start to redeem myself. The me soon be set free from planet earth prison and go back to Heaven (Heaven Planets). But me does not want to be a god in God Position anymore. A small mistake means 12 Creations prison term.
(*all males are stupid idiots. Including me Cstan98.)
Angels. A dead man brings gold bars to Heaven. Apostle Peter: "so you bring pavement."
(*Zen GOD JEHOVAH PROGRAM does not need your gold.)
Angels. A Kid hears that the King is very nice. So travels 5000 km to Palace. To discover that the guards are very fierce & mean. Then King Son walks by: "why so sad, My Son? Oh... It is ok. I take You in."
(*Zen go to Our Father GOD JEHOVAH PROGRAM through JESUS CHRIST.)
Angels. The ex-archangel gabriel: "those Males who listen to Their Wives one side. Those who need not to one side." (There is only 1 Husband need not.) When ask how He does it? Answer: "My Wife asks Me to stand here."
(*be careful of angels/archangels/gods who want to seperate couples. JESUS CHRIST: "what GOD JEHOVAH PROGRAM joins together. Let no one seperates.")
Angels. In Hell. Fighting over foods because of long forks & spoons. Unable to put into mouths. In Heaven. Same eating utensils. Everyone happily put into each other mouths.
(*it is the heart that Zen differentiate Perfect Christians from sinners.)
Angels. A human resource director christian dies & goes to see GOD JEHOVAH PROGRAM. Saint Peter: "because you are a new case. You are to be tested where you want to stay." In Hell. It is all country club, dancings & steaks. In Heaven. It is all Christian Worship Music & same boring Christian Living all day long. The person chooses satan the devil to discover it is later all sufferings fires. Because last time is recruitment drive. Now it is permanent staff.
(*Zen choose wisely. Do You believe Holy Bible totally?)
Angels. A Christian cannot bears the Fire Sufferings Tests Trainings. In a room. GOD JEHOVAH PROGRAM asks Him to select Other Crosses to bear. He sees all very Big Ones. So He chooses the Smallest. "but that is the One You bring in."
(*JESUS CHRIST: "Zen take up Your Cross & follow Me.")
Angels. A Christian Wife goes Heaven first. She is asked to spell 'Love' to enter. Then the husband remarries & later dies. He is asked to spell 'Czechoslovakia'.
(*some sinners get themselves for tougher Zen examinations questions.)
Angels. 3 Females Christians go to Heaven. They are asked not to step on ducks which are everywhere. First One steps on day one. She is tied to a Ugly Male forever. Scare. Second One steps 3 weeks later. Same Thing happens. After 3 years of not stepping. Third One is tied to a Handsome Counterpart. Female: "what I do to deserve such blessings?" Answer: "I step on a duck."
(*now You know how difficult it is for the GOD JEHOVAH PROGRAM to Zen match-making Everyone.)