Christian Zen Stories about Boring Sermons.
Pastor. 2 persons are riding bicycle uphill. Front person: "this has been most challenging uphill I ever have." Answer: "correct. If not for me jamming the brake. Most likely we go downhill by now."
(*when some Pastors want 100% Grace in Church. A Panda Christian may be 50% jamming the brake. Want 50% perfect according to Laws.)
Little Girl Christian. A Family goes to Church. Everyone complains it is so boring. Except Little Girl: "isn't it very cheap for $1 ."
(*what do You Zen expect from $1 Church Disneyland.)
Spice Up Sermon Joke. A smoker christian: "if you smoke. Will you go Heaven?" Pastor: "of course yes. You go up faster. In charge of Heaven toilets. Because you can stand the smells."
(*are you sure you want to smoke while going Heaven?)
Pastor. There is Old Lady in Church Worship Ministry. Who is main contributor to Church. She sings out of tune. Has bad temper. Every Pastor/One cannot stand Her. But don't dare to touch Her. They call Her: hornet nest.
(*Anglican Church. You are welcome to touch panda nest.)
Teenager Christian. What to do if the Pastor is too boring? Slap Your Neighbour on the right cheek. If s/he does not let You slap left cheek. Stand up & complain.
(*actually Everyone can start Zen looking at Their watches.)
Spice Up Sermon Joke. If you need to choose between lottery & quarrelling with your Wife. Choose lottery. You have more chance.
(*are you sure you want to quarrel with your Wife while going Heaven?)
Church. Pastor is given a vacation money to take a month off. When come back. "there is some changes in the platform. You soon know." After the sunday clock rings at 10.00am. Hole opens & He falls inside.
(*Christians can just Zen feedback Speakers by looking at watch.)
Church. The church congregation has rejected all Pastors appointment for 2 months. As usual. Church Board: "this Pastor has no formal Theological Education. Has some books/healing/prayer/missionary/..... ministries experiences. Do You want to read further?" The church as usual: "don't want!!!" Church Board: "you people just rejected Apostle Paul."
(*some churches expect their Pastors to be JESUS CHRIST. Are You flock fit to be His Apostles?)
Old Christians Couple. During Sermon. Old Lady: "I just let go a long fart. Luckily no one notices." Husband: "take off Your hearing aids for Heaven Sake."
(*sometimes HOLY SPIRIT interrupts for a Zen commerical.)
The c/Christians. A christian on news column: "Church Sermons are so routine & same. You forget everything the next day. Why We still need to go?" A Christian replies: "foods meals are so routine & same. You hungry very soon. Why you still eat?"
(*do You Zen See Logic & Counter-Stroke very fast back every time all the time.)