Zen Stories from Chinese Zen Masters.
China. Wandering Monk remembers Weird Old Monk that any problem go Place XXX to find Him. One time. Wandering Monk has 9 painful moles in right leg. Unable to cure. So He goes there. Weird Old Monk asks Him uses back river to wash those 9 painful moles. About to wash. 9 painful moles speak: "last life. We 9 are your 10 s/Soldiers. Because 1 secretly rape & kill. You unable to know who. So You execute all 10 of u/Us. We 9 have been waiting chance to take revenge. You 9 generations all High Monk. No chance. But this lifetime. You enjoy royal treatment. Start to proud. That where we come in. By right. The we should torment You to death. Because now Old-Buddha XXX wants to use Repentence River water to wash your sins clean."
(*Lesson1: don't anyhow judge execute kill subordinates. Lesson2: when High Monk. Don't too proud.)
China. (太平广记). A person has 3 children who cannot talk. Monk: "why do You think these happen to you?" The person: "I think when I am still kid. There is sparrow nest on roof. Inside is 3 baby sparrows. When they open their mouths for foods. I poke them with wooden prick. Soon all of them die. I am very sorry." Immediately his 3 children can talk.
(*there is Zen Kungfu calls 'Say Sickness' (讲病). That means subject says out His sins. To cure of His sickness.)
China. Man has donkey to carry goods. Suddenly. The donkey stops moving. No matter how beat. The donkey starts to talk: "pass life I owe you money. Suppose to carry goods for 50km. My debts are cleared now. Why should I move?" Since then. That Man very careful/scare of owing people things/money.
(why some People become north korea slaves? Why Panda eats $2,000 monthly expenses from Wife Choy doing nothing?)
China. Friend visits Zen Master. Ask to accompany walk Him distant out of Temple. Answer: "sorry. I have never cross this border for 30 years. It is Personal Commandment."
(*do You keep Small Small Commandments that build up Your Zen Cultivation?)
6th Zen Master Scripture. (六祖坛经). When 1st Zen Master Da Mo (达摩) is trying to spread His Mandate to Person. His front teeth is knocked off. So He covers His blood because if blood drips onto ground. The lands have disasters.
(*now do You still dare to Zen bleed Archangels Blood.)
China. When 1st Zen Master Da Mo (达摩) from India missionary-ing China. Find Cultivators there unable to defend Themselves from cults. So setup Shaolin Temple. (少林寺.) To teach Cultivators martial arts self-defense. Shaolin Martial Arts evolve from looking at. How animals/farmers fight/farm. To foundation School of all modern martial arts. (一切武功出自少林.)
(*end times. Panda Order is instructed to know/train Zen Martial Arts at same time also. Not to attack. But for self-defense to injure attackers painful enough. To deter them.)
Peace Classic. (太平广记.) Taoist is making eternal life Elixirs. And has 3 d/Disciples. Taoist suspects not all His d/Disciples heart are pure/sincere. So when Elixirs are ready. Tell all 3. Taoist: "I am testing whether elixir works?" Give to dog. Dog dies. Taoist: "sorry p/People. Elixirs do not work. I die with my Works." Take elixir. Die also. 1 Disciple: "my entire life efforts are spent here. I die with Teacher." Take elixir. Die also. 2 disciples signs & leaves. Teacher wakes up. Put real Elixir in dog. Dog lives. Put real Elixir in dead Disciple. Disciple lives. 3 of Them fly to Heaven.
(*real Tao has real Tests. Panda just uses normal flow testings. And are forever & ever.)
Peace Classic. (太平广记.) Mother becomes blind. The daughter-in-law puts earthworm as meat in foods. Mother shows Son. Son wants to bring wife to court. Along the way. Disappear. Later appear with dog head: "Heaven Court punishes me turns into like that."
(*treat Wife better. So She treats Children/In-laws better.)
China. Male negotiates salary of 10 years working. To be 10 tins (of copper coins). End of 10 years. The employer argues Male says 10 tins of oil. So Male keep quiet. Give 10 years of labour salary oils. As donations to Temple. Next life. Become Official.
(*according to this Zen Story. My 20 years of writing Zen Stories Website. To earn 8.66 give to GUAN YIN Temple. Next life. May become Ninja Turtle Movie Star.)
China. Female prostitute decides to donate money to building Zen Temple. In fact. Donate biggest sum. By right. All Temple donations donors/sums are recorded in main hall board. After discovering her money is not recorded. Zen Master brings her to Temple toilet. There. A small wooden sign of her name/sum. Zen Master: "your money cannot sit in main hall." She is so ashamed. Jump suicide die in shits pool. Next life. Become Queen.
(*donating Merits Money. Or do good deeds. Yes. There are good rewards. But sins punishments crosses have to be beared first. Then. Blessings come.)
China. There are east/west city. In between boundary is Zen Master. Persons crossing from east to west: "is west people better?" Reply: "same." Persons crossing from west to east: "is east people better?" Same Reply: "same."
(*everythings are heart. If You are good. You see everyone good. If you are bad. The you see everyone bad.)
China. A female nun asks Zen Master: "how to become male monk next life?" Answer: "what are you? The you decide now."
(*Female does female duties. Male does male duties. Zen is natural.)
China. A tibetian monk challenges again chinese Zen Temple. Put up 5 fingers. Because CEO Zen Monk is away. Cook Zen Monk puts up 1 thumb. The tibetian monk scares like hell runs away. CEO Zen Monk: "We Senior Monks have been unable to defeat him for months. How You defeat him?" Cook Zen Monk: "he tells me want to eat 5 meals a day. I say only 1 meal. And is very good." The tibetian monk returns tells his ceo monk: "They are improving too fast for us. The me says our side 5 commandments are highest. They say one Buddha is enough."
(*Panda: if you die die want me to bow. The me can only give 3/5 fingers salute. Just remember to read between the lines.)
(*Story background: at that period. Temple Monks are supposed to take 1 meal a day. Some visitors wants 3-10 meals. That is why Cook Zen Monk is so pissed.)
China. A ghost complains Hell Judge: "fortune teller say: I am fated to be rich. But I die poor." So Heaven fortune god is summoned down. Fortune god: "so you are XYX. The one I have been looking high & low. I cannot find you in any 10000 jobs. (You are supposed to have job.)"
(*good fortunes shine on Those who work.)
China. Fox Spirit comes & asks Zen Master: "I am ex-Zen Master here. Someone ask me: is Zen Master under Cause & Effect Laws? I answer no. And has been punished to be Fox Spirit for 500 Years. So I am asking You same question now. (If answer wrongly. Next person you are punished same also. So be very careful.)" Answer: "Zen Master knows Cause & Effect Laws."
(*when You become Archangel Old-Buddha. Previously failed tests by other people fall on You. So be very Zen Careful.)
China. This Story is very well spread in Heaven Tao. Many years Vegetarian Filial Son Scholar always walks past broken wall Temple. Inside is 3 chinese gods statues. They keep giving dreams to Neighbour: "please hurry repair wall. Because everytime this Cultivator walks past. We 3 have to kneel down. Very troublesome." When Neighbour is preparing money to repair. Then one night. They: "no need already. The cultivator is cooking chicken tonite. Breaking his vegetarian vow."
(*if You are many years strict vegetarian Zen Cultivator. Know that low-dan gods suppose to kneel to You.)
China. A Guardian god has been protecting a male Cultivator Monk for 20 years. One day. That Guardian god: "my time is up with you. I am going off to re-cultivate." Next day. That Cultivator Monk falls off a cliff. That Guardian god still around to save Him. Cultivator Monk: "I thought you say you not longer available." Reply: "but I don't bear to part with You."
(*if you are very high dan Cultivator. You guess how many Guardian gods don't bear to part with you.)
Buddhism Book. Hell Judge to 2 ghosts becoming humans: "either of you. Suppose to give/take money. Who is who?" Next life as humans. Give money = become millionaire giving donation money. Take money = become beggar asking donation money.
(*actually both also die. Archangel Panda supposes to give Merits Money to GUAN YIN/JESUS CHRIST. Every second must strict controlled thoughts. No rest. Because still take Merits Money from Everyone. Or else. Become sick.)
Buddhism Book. Female Buddhist: "my husband leave me with 3 children. I have been very faithful in cultivating. Why this?" Zen Master: "in your past life. You throw out bowl of boiling water. It kills pregnant mother cat with 3 babies cats inside. (Become Your husband & 3 children.) If You cultivate further. They forgive You. And come back to You."
(*why Your Wife has cancer? Why Your Husband keeps beating You? What does GOD JEHOVAH PROGRAM Zen bases on? There must be somethings You done wrong previously.)
Chronicle Of 8 Angels. (八仙传). Rich Person is looking how to become Angel (仙). An evil businessman tricks Him for 1000 taels of silver for his secret formula. (Plot to kill Rich Person for all His money.) So Rich Person follows. Climb to tallest Tree on highest mountain. To jump from there. To evil businessman surprise. Guardian Angel snatches jumping Rich Person to Heaven. So evil businessman lives to old age. Jump same also. But die landing into ground. Turn into evil toad.
(*can you people Zen follow Archangel Panda correctly?)
New World Stories. (世说新语). There is this local official. Who is supposed to visit imperial capitol. Everyone passes him letters to bring along to loved ones. The he half-way. Throw all letters into river: "am I postman? Let all letters go to respective persons." At old age. The he loses official post. Because of 1 missing imperial letter.
(*do You see Cause & Effect Laws here? Why if you don't want to deliver letters. Or any job. Say no immediately. Don't don't do.)
Peace Stories. (太平广子). An official asks Zen Master: "no salt/vinegar. Like that how to eat?" Answer: "with salt/vinegar. Like that how to eat?"
(*you ask Panda: "no meat. How to eat?" Answer: "with meat. How to eat?")
Peace Stories. (太平广子). Person asks crying friend: "why you scare of that pregnant Mother?" Answer: "I use spells to delay my reincarnation. That Mother supposes to be my new Mother. But She has been pregnant for 5 years. But now today when I meet Her. I am going to die tonite."
(*cannot get rid of that female tummy? It may be your baby child is using spells to delay birth.)
(01) China. Zen Master has been meditating at hill cliff for years. One day. He notices shiny diamond has been all along shining below nearby.
(02) United States. Acres Of Diamond. A farmer hears many make millions by discovering diamonds. So sell farmland go out & look also. After his death as failure. It is discovered his farmland. Has richest deposits of diamonds in history.
(*look inward/nearby first.)
Monk Stories. (五灯会元). Person asks Zen Master: "what is Your name? Which country You from?" Answer: "My name is what. From country which."
(*Zen Answers are simply just like that fact/situtation.)
Monk Stories. (五灯会元). Person asks Zen Master: "what is fate?" Answer: "flowers drop. Rivers flow."
(*Zen Answers are simply just like that fact/situtation.)
Monk Stories. (五灯会元). Person asks Zen Master: "what are judgement disasters (劫)?" Answer: "spring starts. Winter stops."
(*Zen Answers are simply just like that fact/situtation.)
Monk Stories. (五灯会元). Person asks Zen Master: "when no one asks questions. What do Zen Masters do?" Answer: "sleepy sleep. Sunrise wake."
(*Zen Answers are simply just like that fact/situtation.)
China. In Temple. Buddha statue in main position. Lao Zi statue in side position. Taoists come. Put Lao Zi statue in main. Buddhists come. Put Buddha statue back to main. This repeat many times. Until both statues are broken. Buddha/Lao Zi to each Other in Heaven: "why Our Disciples on earth. All like that?"
(*Lao Zi incarnation of JESUS CHRIST.)
China. A pig killer has been killing pigs all these times. Near his death. Monk appears: "do You want to repent?" Pig killer lifts up buddhism monk right hand gesture. Monk: "it is not enough. But it saves your next life." The pig killer turns into pig with right human hand. No one dares to eat/kill this Pig. So this Pig is put to live to old age. At Buddhist Temple garden zoo.
(*this is real case Buddhism - do not eat meat case story quote in Buddhist Books. Therefore. Now Zen Monk Panda: "do You want to repent?")
Peace Stories. (太平广子). Person hears Buddha Fa Hua Scripture (法华经) is very sacred. So She puts 1 copy at home. Incense day/night. One night. Her Mother hell ghost appears very beaten: "because You stop spread of Buddha Fa Hua Scripture (法华经). I am very beaten." This is because this Scripture is very thick. And last time Scriptures are hand copied. So freezing It at home is punishments. So Person quickly employ People to hand copy It many copies.
(*praying to Scriptures. Better is reciting. Better is undertstanding. Better is teaching. Better is able to write own Buddha Scriptures.)
China. Zen Master notices old female Hawker cries everyday. Rain/shine same. When ask why? Old female Hawker: "when rain. My eldest Daughter buns business bad. When shine. My second Daugher umbrella business bad. So everyday cry. Rain/shine." Zen Master: "You should think. When rain. Second Daughter umbrella business good. When shine. Eldest Daughter buns business good." Since then. Old female Hawker is seen smiling everyday.
(*just habit change of thought. Is all needed to change everyday moods.)
China. A zen student graduates. Missionary out from Temple. Zen Master leaves student alone in deserted hut dowhhill. 10 years later. Zen Master finds him with big barn/hairs/house/wife. Business with many animals livestocks/servants. When ask why? The he: "my robe gets dirty. So I wash. And hang it to dry. The mouse bites it. So I get cat. The cat needs milk. So I get cow. The cow needs grass. Then rest is history."
(*to successfully practice Zen Operations. Think simple.)
China. Cultivator Su Dong Po (苏东坡) always want to compete with neighbour Zen Master. How good is His Cultivation. So write poem to Zen Master: "I sit like lotus flower. 8 winds cannot blow away." Reply: "give fart (shit gas)." Su Dong Po (苏东坡) is so angry. Cross river to find note on door: "8 winds cannot blow away. Blow cross river by a fart (shit gas)."
(*You give Zen fart - shit gas.)
China. Cultivator Su Dong Po (苏东坡) always want to challenge neighhbour Zen Master. Ask Zen Master: "what I look like?" Reply: "like Buddha." Su Dong Po (苏东坡): "to me. You look like shits." Go back home. Tell beautiful cute-cute Sister how He win today. Reply: "Brother. You lose. He is like Buddha. See You like Buddha. You are like shits. See Him like shits."
(*You look like Zen Buddha eating shits.)
China. Person very interested in Taoism. Keep praying to taoist god statue day/night to become Angel (仙道). Finally. One night that taoist god appears in dream: "tomorrow You wait XXX place YYY time. A Taoist passby. He knows how to become Angel (仙道)." So Person waits/asks that Taoist. That Taoist asks Person first go back home stuff that taoist god statue 2 ears. Come back tomorrow same place same time. So Person done. But cannot find Taoist next day. And that taoist god statue ears become stuffed unable to listen to Prayers anymore.
(*always dig your ears.)
Have JESUS CHRIST Versions. In Church/Temple. A person can see Archangel/god in cross/god statue. So he asks Archangel/god to be in that position for one day. Archangel/god: "ok. But you promise. Must don't do anything." So it goes. 2 d/Devotees come & pray. Bad devotee: "JESUS CHRIST. I have sinned. Please forgive me." And forget leave behind bag of money. Good Devotee: "JESUS CHRIST. Please help me to feed my hungry Family." And discover bag of money. When 2 leave. The first bad devotee comes back looking for his money. That person-in-charge in cross/god statue: "that Good Devotee takes it." The bad devotee chases. And take back money. Good Devotee commits suicide. Archangel/god comes back. And scold person-in-charge: "I already tell you not to interfere in natural flow of events. You now get lost."
(*why Old-Buddha Panda does not want to interfere too much of Old-Buddha GUAN YIN. Ways of administering Merits Money. It is very influenced by this Zen Story.)
China. Zen Master walks through forest. Meet tiger. So ask: "last life. Do I owe you a life?" The tiger nods. Zen Master: "give me one day to settle things. I be back." So He quickly goes back Temple. Settle all administrations/chain of commands transfers. Next day. Come back. Cannot find tiger.
(*You expect death any minute. But when it comes. Are You ready?)
Taiwan. Old Female has been strict Vegetarian 40+ years. One time is very sick. About to die. She has been all this while. Wanting to eat snails soup. So She asks Her Daugher-In-Law to cook for her. Smart Daughter-In-Law asks Her to wait. In kitchen. Keep on knocking 2 stones. Put in all herbal ingredients. And give Her stones soup. After drinking. For past weeks. She is seen crying for breaking Her Vegetarian Vow. When tells Truth. Happy like bird for not breaking Vegetarian Vow. Don't want snails soup anymore.
(*don't think too much of delicious stones soup. The snails/stones soup. They taste same. You cannot tell Zen differences after eating. Anyway.)
China. (太平广记). Person hears dead Mother voice outside. Out house. Discover dead Mother Ghost in formal clothing. Person cries kneeling down. Dead Mother: "you are in deep trouble. A white dog is going to follow you. Unless you can walk 1000 km away from her. You going to die." Person still cries kneeling down. Next following days. Really walk 1000 km. Until white dog disappears. Dead Mother Ghost appears smiling: "your tribulations have become Blessings. Heaven now wants You live past 80 years old. Become Official."
(*isn't it same? GUAN YIN says You are in shits. If You follow Instructions. Tribulations become Blessings.)